It’s not that I wasn’t expecting it. But that did not lessen the shock, as the car pulled up in front of my house. Just three days ago I looked forward to its arrival as signaling the culmination of all my plans. But the sight of my husband, my ex-husband and my boyfriend calmly getting out of the car proved too much and I had to quickly gather my thoughts.

I read somewhere that the head lives on for 13 seconds after being separated from the body by the guillotine. I plan to live a lot longer than that, guillotine or not, so I texted Bernadette: “ready, set, go!” The instantaneous reply dekiltered me: “Hung up @ daycare. Stall?” There was nothing for it – I opened the front door and said, “Hi guys, I see you’ve all met.”

Three wordless smirking faces strolled into the foyer. The perma-tanned face belonging to boyfriend, Jesus, spoke: “Imogen, where did you hide the jewelery?” So typical; ever since he walked into my life, he was always the spokesperson.  I’d always liked the fact that he got straight to the point and I had a plan to draw him and the other two stooges in and spit them out of my life for ever.

“So, I take it you’ve all read Bernadette’s email.  She attached the proof that we sent the jewelery back to the Kennedys – loverboys, there’s nothing left to fight over.”

Jerome, my ex-husband and the tallest of the three, looked down at the rest of us as if we were all poor actors in the debut of a play he had written.  I had broken with high school tradition and gone for the black polo neck wearing, artsy type over the quarterback.   I knew my weakness for the clever types was coming back to haunt me again when out of the breast pocket of his Zegna jacket he pulled a familiar looking mobile, pounded out a text message and my buzzing Blackberry announced that the message was to me … from Bernadette’s phone.

It was a crisp fall day and the sun was setting outside the bay window in the living room.  I switched on the lights and and their glow lit up the garden. Then I turned around to watch the effect of my surprise revelation upon the eyes of my dear husband, Mr. Amos Poitevin.  He said, “Why would you give away Jackie’s diamonds when we worked so hard to steal them?  Bernadette has the most to lose so don’t tell us you gave them back.”

The old man never wears his glasses, still in denial about his failing vision.  “Mo, do you see who is standing outside the window?”